Bratja
by Ayumi Elric
Summary: Forgive me little brother. I am so sorry before you. It's forbidden to try to returrn one taken by Earth.' 'Don't cry, don't be sad, big brother. You are not the only guilty one. There's only one road before us. We will purge our sins completely' Songfic


**I finally got a co-written fic out! X3 Yo, it's Ayumi, and this is a Bratja songfic I wrote with meh Auntie (who's Mayuna) We're using the Russian version of the song, only because Al's part is longer. n.n; Sorry, Vic!**

**Btw, I'm doing Ed's part, and she's doing Al's. I personally think Al's part is better then what I wrote, but she thought my part was better..eh, oh well... X3 Enjoy! **

**---**

It still hurts, that single moment when I was alone.

_My blood gushed around me in a lake, washing the floor red.  
My failure lay in front of me, screaming in anguish at me. Tears  
fell down my face as I screamed your name and wished you'd  
come back to me._

I was such an idiot back then.

_Forgive me, little brother  
I am so sorry before you.  
It's forbidden to try to return  
One taken by the earth._

I don't think it's possible to ever say how sorry I am for this,  
Al. I really don't deserve you and your love. You should hate  
me for this. And because you still love me, I can only hate  
myself. What I did...it was unforgivable! How can you not hate  
me for what I did? You lost your body because of me, all  
because of me.

_The one who knows the law of existence  
Could help me to find the answer.  
I was very mistaken  
There's no cure for death._

The dead can't come back to life. I should've known that.  
Maybe I did know that, but I wanted to try anyway. I thought  
I was such a genius, that after only a mere year of learning  
alchemy, I'd know enough to do something that nobody had  
ever succeeded before. And I failed, almost losing you again in  
the process. Never again...

_Dear Mom, sweet Mom!  
We loved you so much.  
But all our efforts  
Unfortunately were in vain._

Dammit, I'm such a fool. I was being stubborn, I just couldn't  
accept the fact that Mom was really dead. That whole time,  
she was in pain and we were just to blind to see it.

I wish I had never thought of it. I thought I had nothing left to  
lose, but I was wrong, Al, I was so wrong. I nearly lost you.  
Instead of paying attention to the one person who could  
possibly make me happy, I selfishly ignored him, just to return  
to those days of peace.

I'll never forgive myself for that.

_I tempted you  
With the wonderful hope  
Of returning our home._  
_My brother, it's all my fault.  
_  
I wished you'd blame me, just for once. Just one time, yell at  
me. Tell me that it was all my fault and just hate me, even if  
it's only for a bit. I hate it when you try and take the blame  
yourself. You know that it wasn't your fault, you tried to tell  
me it was a bad idea, but I wouldn't listen. Dammit Al, when  
are you going to learn that it's all my fault we failed this way?!  
--------  
I try to lose myself in my thoughts or through the text of a book but every night it's the same. I listen to your tortured cries and soft whimpers brother. Your unending mumbled apologies as the tears seep out from under your closed eyelids to leak down and fall against the pillow. I find myself most nights sitting by your side holding your hand or laying it against your forehead to try and soothe you.

_Don't cry, don't be sad, big brother._

I continually ask myself why you take all of the blame, all of this god awful burden onto your shoulders and assume I'm innocent. I ask myself on these nights that if our roles were reversed, if I were the full metal alchemist and your soul were trapped in purgatory as mine is would I feel the same. Would I shoulder the blame all onto myself?

_You're not the only guilty one._

We knew at the time what we were doing was wrong. We both knew that but still we both tried. Both of us! I hate it when you take everything onto yourself and don't let me shoulder some of the blame. That alone makes me feel guilty enough let alone the fact that you gave up your own arm to save me. Before we left Risembool we had already made our promise to each other. No matter what we would stay together. No matter what we would get our bodies back to the way they were.

_There's only one road before us,_

No matter what happens…..

_We will purge our sins completely._

After we attempted to revive mom and I 'woke up' I remember staring at my hand confused. My curiosity about what had happened quickly dissipated as I looked past my outstretched fingers to see you sitting on the floor in a pool of blood. I watched it for a moment as you clutched where your arm should have been as the blood welled and seeped through your fingers in cascades draining your small body. I remember that moment so clearly; the look of utter despair in your eyes as you shook violently with each passing second. Your pale sweaty face stared at me for a moment before an apology escaped from between your lips listlessly. I knew the pain you were feeling was unbearable. As I lifted you into my arms I heard a pattering of liquid against the metal armor. My gaze quickly moved down to take note of and process that in fact your leg had been taken as well. You were dying in my arms. You were apologizing to me for what had happened.

_I cannot blame you,_

This pain is nothing brother, compared to what you have been through.

_I am not hurt at all.  
_  
We thought we knew everything, that just because we had been training under a talented alchemist that we were ready and it makes me laugh a little. It's a laugh that makes my soul ache and I know that if I had my body it would make me sick to my stomach. I glance on occasion at the few pictures we took from the house before we burned it down and I can't help but shake my head chastising the two stupid little boys who only smile back at me cockily as if they know everything in the world. As if they are mocking me and our situation.

_Well, we sinned  
By wanting to be stronger than everyone else._

We just wanted to see her again. To feel her arms embrace us again and to feel her soft sweet kisses that would grace our foreheads when we were ill or kiss our cheeks as we sat on her lap. To hear her laugh and to see her smile down at us proudly, her smell, her touch was stolen from us before were able to accept that fact of life.

_Dear Mom, sweet Mom!_

We thought it would be enough because….

_We loved you so much._

So we tried to bring you back to us

_But all our efforts  
Unfortunately were in vain.  
_  
I could see it all so clearly in my mind. Mom would come back to us as if nothing had happened and we would be happy again. We wallowed so deeply in our sorrow refusing to emerge from it's murky depths we could not see past the horizon into a new tomorrow. It never occurred to us that we could be happy with out her. That's what she wanted, the only thing she asked us to do; take care of each other.

_I was tempted  
With the wonderful hope  
Of returning our home.  
_  
Instead we paid no heed to her dying words and hurt each other in the worst way imaginable. We have done so many things together brother. Every memory I have you are there beside me asking me for guidance or searching my eyes with yours for the courage that you need to continue. I had a bad feeling from the start but I kept quiet. I was a damn fool and just went along with it. That is why….

_I'm guilty for all of it._  
----  
_But what should we do, how should we be?_

Ed crossed his arms across his chest and stared up at his brother, an uncontrolled smirk forcing its way onto his lips. "Since when have you been so damn stubborn?" He asked with a laugh in his voice, his golden eyes drifting off to stare at the sunset.

He frowned slightly at the red sky, "No matter what, we can't give up, Al. We'll keep moving forward until we get your body back. I will see you smiling again."

_How to fix everything, to forget?_

Al followed his brothers gaze staring up at the sky as the red lightened causing the sky to be streaked with rays of orange and yellow as the sun rose giving light to a new day. HIs gaze flicked from the sunrise to rest on his older brothers face. The determination set his golden eyes ablaze causing them to spark as his jaw clenched.

Al brought a hand to rest on his brothers shoulder as he nodded the metal creak resounding in the hollow vastness of the armor. "It's not going to be easy brother but when that day comes I promise you, I'll fix your body too." He stated his voice strong and determined.

_It's forbidden to try to return  
One taken by the earth._

**_-Owari_**


End file.
